Motherhood: Real Talk.

Being a mom is always described as this beautiful experience filled with loving and wonderful moments that we cherish forever.

Nothing compares to your baby's first cry as they are laid on your chest at birth. The overwhelming feeling of pure love that you know comes from your soul toward a little person you brought into the world. There smiles, giggles, pattering little feet on the floor, tiny toys, cuddles, first words, and so much more. These things don't last forever, they are very short lived and we want to enjoy them as long as possible. Being a mother is a true blessing, but let's have some real talk.

It's 6:30 am. My alarm goes off and I can't even open my eyes to see the time. Slowly crawling out of bed to get the girls ready for school. I go to Ellie's room first, I tell her good morning and let her know it's time to get dressed. Then I go to Madeline's room, who I can already hear is wide awake and has been since about 3 or 4 am. She doesn't sleep as much as we do, so by the time I get into her room she has already pulled toys out all over the floor and taken her clothes off. The bed sheets and blankets are in the floor, because she likes to strip the bed. So calmly ignoring the the fact that her room is a mess, I tell her good morning and help her to the bathroom for toileting and help her get dressed.

Off to school we go, once I get back home I can finally make me a cup of coffee. I can only take about a few sips before I remember the huge mess in Madeline's room that I need to clean up. So I make my way to her room to pick up her toys and wash her bed sheets and make her bed with new ones. I sweep, mop and wipe down all the surfaces. She still has toileting issues, so she wears a pull up. Which as you know, they can leak, So to keep things from smelling I have to wash all her stuff constantly.

By the time I get done with that my coffee is cold and David is awake ready for breakfast. I have been changing diapers for 11 years now and thankfully David is now potty trained. So he can do a lot more things for him self, which is extremely helpful. But at the same time, for whatever reason guilt takes over and you realize there is this horrible stigma around motherhood. The ugly truth of parenting. The feeling of knowing you are doing everything you can, but at the same time it's never right or never enough. Even sometimes your told you do to much and that can be a hinderance.

So what is the right way to be a mom? The answer? There's not one. Not only is the world judgmental of how us moms try to care for and raise our kids, other moms can be even worse. I had someone tell me that I was horrible for taking my kids to there grandmas all time for her to babysit them. That I wasn't raising my kids or taking care of them but grandma was and I was a terrible mother. But the thing is, even though that seems hurtful, I know what I do for my children. They don't see what all I do behind closed doors, And when you have a child with special needs, It's more than most people realize.

After Madeline was born most of our family knew that she wouldn't be able to do a lot on her own. This included daycare. I'm so blessed and thankful Madeline has a grandma that loves her unconditionally and is willing and able to watch her while I work. When I'm not working, I'm with my kids. There was a time when Dustin worked and I stayed home for a time. But we soon realized that we couldn't afford life on just one income. So not long after Madeline's open heart surgeries, he would work and I would then go to school for nursing while teaching dance in the afternoons. Once I got a job in the medical field it wasn't any better, I worked long 16 hour shifts, switching from days to nights. All the while driving back and forth to take Madeline to all of her many doctor appointments and therapy's.

Fast forward several years, I was exhausted, depressed, and stressed. My anxiety got so bad I would have panic attacks. Madeline still wasn't talking or making eye contact, which is around the time she was diagnosed with severe non verbal autism. I had Ellie at this point, we moved homes constantly trying to make things better. I have learned over the years that no matter what you do people will have something to say about it.

People now automatically assume I am not a good mother for the simple fact that I have tattoos or work as a tattoo artist. Because that job has it's own stigmas in it's self. I have been given so much ridicule over being a small business owner to running a tattoo parlor. So much that people have tried to spread lies, rumors and even death threats.

When all I have ever tried to do is provide for my kids. To be a good mother, to be there for them. To teach them how to be smart, kind, loving and accepting human beings. You don't know what someone has been through unless you walk in there shoes. We have to stop judging other moms for the way they do things or how they do things. They are only trying to do what's best for them and there family.

Weather your a stay at home mom, a working mom, weather your children are breast or bottle fed, homeschooled or public school, weather you let them play video games or play outside. If your a mom that takes your kids to daycare or to there grandmas/grandpas house. Maybe your family is vegan or very religious. Weather you gave birth via c-section or natural, meds or no meds, at home or in a hospital. Maybe your a mom that sleeps in or wakes up early. Or your a mom that wears sweats all day with your hair up and no make up, maybe your the mom that is always looking there best. Weather you cook a healthy meal everyday or bring home happy meals. It doesn't matter....really, It does not matter.

You are amazing. Your a gift. You are made for the role of motherhood, no matter what anyone says about you or how you do things. Always remember that you are strong, courageous, needed, and loved. That you are beautiful from the messy bun on your head down to the stretch marks you bare. You literally balance the weight of the world on your shoulders and do it with grace. Even when you don't think you do. You are enough.

Most importantly, it's not really about what others think. It's about what your children think, and I know for a fact even when your not feeling your best, or you think you messed up, and your lost to the fact that you don't have all the answers. Your child is looking at you thinking, Wow... I love her so much! She is amazing. I'm so very glad she is my mom.

If you enjoyed this blog post, join us next week for more! Follow us on TikTok @Findingthepieces. You can also email with questions or suggestions on what to write next, or share your story with me! @ Findingthepieces25@gmail.com

Thank you!

Meagan and Madeline Friend.