Love Needs No Words: How to say I love you.

I thought for a long time that it would be hard to get my daughter to understand what love is, and what if she never talks? Will I ever get to hear those words back? Will she understand that I am there for her? She is safe, cared for, loved.

Love has so much meaning to all of us. It is hope, Inspiration, emotion, the knowing of being protected. That someone has your back no matter what. What an amazing action of selflessness, to put someone else before your self. To stand by them in there darkest moments. Love is God. How will I be able to share this incredible gift with her?

I remember when she was small telling her I loved her all the time. Over and over again. Hoping and praying that one day she would look at me and say it back. It's very hard to deal with the emotions that come from being a verbal human being and expressing emotions through words your whole life, to having someone you love most never say anything to you. I worked through those emotions for five years. Five.

Now before we all get sappy about how difficult that was and " oh how did you manage to get through that?" and the "I'm so sorry" bits. I want to start off by saying that, it was meant to be. Words are just words if you throw them around and don't mean what you say. We all do it, all the time. "yeah ill be there" "I love you" "I'm sorry" "It's not you, It's me" and the list goes on. We tell people that were going to do something and never do. We tell people what they want to hear, not what we truly mean.

I didn't realize that this hard time in my life was to teach me a lesson. A lesson in true love. What is the most popular quote in the Bible that everyone uses to describe love?

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 But have we ever broken it down and understood it? I didn't. Until now.

The very first part says Love is Patient. I had to wait, and wait to ever hear my daughter speak, this tested my patients greatly. The next line is Love is Kind. Kindness is not a word, it is an action. Madeline would show me love through physical touch. She gives the best hugs. The kind of hug you give with your whole heart. A hug that will bring you to tears if you have never experienced it before. Her smile shows love, even her eyes smile.

The next part of this verse lists many other things that love is not. It does not envy, its does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered. It keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. I have never seen my daughter pursue any of these things. Is she perfect?, absolutely not. She does get angry just not about the things that we do. Does she like attention from others? yes, but in the way that we do. Never for gain or to put others down. She simply has no concept of this.

It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres...Love never fails. I see now through my daughter that we are all capable of this. I recall the day she finally said "wov ou" (love you) I will not ever forget that day. But I realized it meant more to me in that moment than love had ever meant to me before. Then not to long ago she was able to independently reply fully. She had won a medal at the Special Olympics for the very first time. She had never been able to compete before. Plus I was told by doctors that she would never be able to run. But she did.

I said, "Madeline I love you!" and she said " I love you too"

Be patient, be kind "to them and yourself", don't envy "other families whose child does not have a disability", don't boast or be to proud or rude "of yourself or others" don't be self seeking "and only think of your emotions " don't get angry, Rejoice in the truth, protect them, trust them, always have hope, because they will persevere. Love never fails.

Your child loves you, even if they can't say it yet. And even if you don't get to hear those words, just remember. Actions speak louder than words.

Love needs no words.

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Thank you.

Meagan and Madeline.