Keeping A Routine

Life throws us curve balls, things that are out of our control. We have to deal with those things as they come. Managing a routine for ourselves is hard enough. Things never seem to stay consistent. But either way we still have our own way of doing things, in a order, timeline or maybe we do a lot of the same things everyday with a few different things tossed into the mix. We all say "Man, I need a vacation." or " I need to get away from this everyday grind" For a person with Autism it is a necessity to stay consistent.

Even when Madeline was very little, this was one thing I noticed made a difference in her life.

Routine. When she started going to school I would pick her up everyday and we would go home. Now, sometimes there were things I had to do before I went home. Like go to the Bank, get gas or go to the grocery store. I dreaded these days, because I new what was coming. A meltdown. As soon as the car would move past our house I could hear her start screaming and rocking back and forth. I couldn't help her, I was driving. I could only use my words, which were not helpful at the time. She couldn't see my face or my mouth moving.

The overstimulation would cause her so much anxiety. " Why are we not going home?" " Where could we be going?" " I don't know what were doing" "We passed our house mom, your going the wrong way" If she could speak, these are the things I'm sure she would be saying, But she couldn't tell me, She couldn't talk. So all she could do was cry and scream. I learned to not pass our house anymore, we would take a different route to the bank or store. This did seem to make the behavior subside. If I told her right when we got in the car where we were going it would also help to. I would just repeat it, "Were going to the store Maddie" "Store?" "Lets go to the store"

She would rock her body a bit, "Store, store, store" She would say. We found consistent things to do before the store so it made it easier to get her there. Like playing her favorite music in the car. Going to the car wash and watching the machine spray the car with bubbles. Maybe we would stop by Mc Donald's and get her the same happy meal she always gets. Doing some of the same things that she likes would help ease her into doing the things we don't always do on a daily basis.

She is a lot better with this now. I have also got a lot better at it to. It is just how we function now and is a part of our routine. She still doesn't like for things to be different. When people we know come over it's different. We are not seeing them in there environment, they are now in her space. This takes a while for her to adjust to the changes. Holding her hands up by her face, almost like how a horse uses blinders so they don't get spooked walking down a path. She puts on her blinders to manage her stimulations around her, and to warn people that she is feeling uncomfortable.

Imagen you are driving down the road ready to get to work. You have your coffee and all the things you need. You are on time and in your head are thinking of all the things you will want to get done that day. All of the sudden, your tire hits something sharp in the road and you are forced to stop. Pulling over to get a look and there it is, a blown tire. The anger and frustration shoots to the roof. Now you are stuck, calling work that your going to be late and trying to get your tire fixed. You don't know how long it will take, and your whole day is thrown off.

That is the feeling a person with Autism feels when anything unexpected occurs. And these things can happen on a daily basis or even multiple times a day. And I understand that maybe what they find to be unnerving may not seem as big of a deal as your blown tire preventing you from getting to work on time, but to them it is. And should be taken into as much consideration as anyone else's difficult situations.

If you would like to know more on this topic or have questions you can email me at findingthepieces25@gmail.com and please like and follow us on Facebook and TikTok @Findingthepieces.

Thank you!

Meagan and Madeline.